LOVE DET0X - PUTTING THE PAST IN THE PAST

Release from the past. While we all desire it, the problem is that we don’t want to lose our past because then we lose a part of who we are. It’s akin to whether you keep photos of old boyfriends on view, where they may make you feel sad and drag your energy levels right down. The choice is really up to you.

Get rid of any image that makes you feel sad, unloved, teary, or like hIding under the doona. Anything that makes you feel better, keep. It’s about releasing the negative emotions of the past, but keeping the memories that are worthwhile. It doesn’t mean viewing the past with rose-coloured glasses, either – it means learning from it and moving on.

But where will you meet him?

Here’s my all time hottest tip to meeting men, look at your friends. Most women marry brother or cousins of friends, friends of friends, or guy they meet through work friends. The deal is that you get to check them out. Most women – and I mean it – do not meet long term potential spouses at nightclubs, pubs, dance parties or by bumping into them while out grocery shopping. The internet is still O.K. but be selective and try over a period of several weeks to see what they are like. Too much too quickly is that we don’t have time to really get to know one another it is just pressure and demand to be their ‘dream partner’. And if it is too quick they can judge and move on day by day without trying to establish a relationship which could have meaning for both of you.

It’s friends that count. So, let’s look at your friends. Okay, for each of these friends, how do they improve your chances of meeting a man? Every female or male friend you have must know some guys. It’s just logic. And the thing is, this is where you have to examine the purpose of your friendship.

What do you friends expect of you? You could by mistake be perpetually cast in the role of the listener – the friend who holds hands, comforts, feeds, rings, talks through suicidal urges or is the experiment for a mate i.e. we are only gooood friends.

But what do these friends do for you? Now, if you’re sitting there saying we laugh together, we hang out, we meet people, we do social staff, we get each other through man traumas, she hold my hand when I’m way, way down inside – great. But, if you’re saying I listen, I feel good when they bring me their problems, I drive them when they’re drunk or, even worse, I make them look a whole lot funnier or sexier, you’ve got a friendship hole And where there are friendship holes, there are love gaps.